Flying the Friendly Skies…

I found myself on a plane once again…excited about my upcoming adventure, but anxious about the flight.  I wasn’t always a nervous flyer.  Seems to be something I had picked up during the second half of my life.   Normally I would just knuckle down and go into meditative, deep breathing exercises and feint sleep to get through it.  This time for some reason was different…I found myself hyper aware of a sudden need to surrender control and just be.  And you know what?  It felt good.  It felt right.  I felt at peace.

Normally being on a plane is tough for me; I feel like I have no control.  I have no choice but to sit patiently and obediently.  I can’t go for a walk, can’t get something out of the refrigerator and certainly can’t hop in my car to go somewhere.While sitting on a plane, my time was mine but it wasn’t if that makes sense.  I was temporarily held captive and felt almost forced to view how I was living my life.   Maybe that is why I would squirm and struggle.  I always thought I had just developed a mild fear of flying.  Maybe it was something more.  I hated not being in control.  I loved my freedom of choice and being able to do things on a whim if I wanted too.  But the funny thing is…I also allowed it to dictate my life.  I felt with all of those choices at my whim…that I should be producing, creating, succeeding and advancing ALL THE TIME.

I also then realized how tired I had become trying to control every aspect of my life.  It was like I finally understood this at a subconscious level that before had only been understood intellectually and at a soul level.  It felt so good to give up trying to control everything; it made me want to feel this way all of the time.  Total surrender, total peace, total acceptance of the real me; the real me who struggles and isn’t always fearless and sure as I have tried to trick myself into believing I was.  There had always been a part of me that felt needed fixing…and being the seeker that I am I was always looking for ways to grow and complete myself which left me feeling continually anxious as I continued my search.  It was like a never ending job.  There wasn’t ever a 5pm to look forward to where I could shut down and relax.  I wasn’t able to fully surrender into who I was and truly enjoy my life, my successes and my journey.   This powerful sense of surrender that came over me on the plane showed me that there was nothing that needed to be fixed…I was always whole.  And although at some levels I always knew that…now I really felt it as well.  I was able to accept myself exactly as I was…not as someone I thought I should be or who I had told myself I was based upon my successes, failures and life experiences.

I now knew that my life wasn’t sustainable anymore in my old way of thinking.  It had left me tired, unfulfilled, and with a false sense of identity.  Going forward I now feel able to surrender to each moment, the unknown, and to my future;a very good place to be if you ask me. This curious flight took me to two destinations that day.  The first a physical one, the second a reflective realization that has set me free going forward.  I am thankful for both.

Copyright 2013 G. Brian Benson

www.gbrianbenson.com

Order my brand new award-winning book “Finding Your Voice” on Amazon by clicking link

Published by: gbrianbenson

Founder of Reawaken Media. Writer, multiple award-winning author, TEDx speaker, actor, filmmaker, storyteller, inspirational poet, radio personality, finisher of over 50 triathlons (including 4 Ironman distance races) and cross-country bicyclist. 2016 is already heating up for Brian as he he has a recurring part on the new TV show Sangre Negra, has been invited to give a TEDx talk in Pasadena at the end of May, was interviewed for the soon to be released documentary The Last Formula and will be releasing his new film short Searching for Happiness in early summer. In addition to acting in TV and film, Brian enjoys creating his own projects. In 2011 Brian created Guitar Man, a movie project that he wrote, produced and acted in that was filmed in downtown Reno, Nevada. The movie was written by Brian with the idea of sharing the messages ‘that we all have a lot in common’ and ‘that our true gifts reside within ourselves.’ Guitar Man was well received and was accepted to 11 movie festivals and was a winner at the Love Unlimited Film and Art Festival, won an honorable mention prize in the narrative short category at the 2011 Los Angeles Movie Awards as well as a Golden Reel Award from the Nevada Film Festival. Before Brian got into acting he authored four books, including Brian’s List – 26 1/2 Easy To Use Ideas on How to Live A Fun, Balanced, Healthy Life! which was the winner of a 2009 Next Generation Indie Book Award in the Self-Help category. Brian’s latest book Finding Your Voice was an award-winning Finalist in both the 2013 USA Book News and the Indie Excellence Book Awards. Brian lives in Los Angeles, California and will be releasing his first children's book "Steve the Alien" in late October of 2016. Visit Brian's website - www.gbrianbenson.com

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6 thoughts on “Flying the Friendly Skies…”

  1. yep, this one is a good food for thought, especially since, I will be getting on a plane, on Sept 23, to go to Arizona for my 52 birthday, for some reason this bugs me, I’ve never had a problem before, but I also think it’s because I am going to a different place than I would normally go, and a little excited for I am not going to have any respond abilities when I get there.

  2. Brian, as always U am grateful to you for showing your vulnerabilities! It helps others get out of self and take the challenge to face their fears! I realize it is a big challenge for you and yet I am proud of you ! You have found your voice and let all if us know we can find and share ours too !!!
    ~ BRAVO~

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