Sharing in our Growth

You ever have one of those experiences where you stumble across something that totally changes your life?  There is a quote that I really like that says, “We are here to teach what it is that we need to learn ourselves”.  I would like to share with you how that quote played a part in the creation of my first book Brian’s List – 26 ½ Easy to Use Ideas on How to Live a Fun, Balanced, Healthy Life! 

It was in early 2008 as I was struggling with the decision to leave the family business.  Now for those that know me, I am a very driven person and this driven nature has served me well through the years (cross country bicycle ride, triathlons, etc.).  And being the driven person that I was, I wanted to do a couple of things to figure out why I was feeling out of balance and not myself.   After some contemplation I realized that I was burned out from my job.  I wasn’t fulfilled there, nor was I growing anymore.  I knew it was time for a change.  The second thing that I did, I thought it would be a good idea to come up with a handful of ideas that I knew would keep me balanced and centered while I was going through this potential transition in my life.  So I put on my self-awareness cap and wrote down 5 things on a piece of paper.   From that day forward every time I began to feel out of balance or out of center, I would refer to my list and read it. 

Number #1   Make sure I was drinking enough water daily.

Number #2   Make sure that I was getting some daily exercise.

Number #3   Make sure that I was getting enough sleep each night.

Number #4   Allow some time each day to have some alone time so that I could re-energize my system. 

Number #5   Allow some time each day to be creative.  For me being creative means to write or play my guitar.

My little plan helped me out so much as I worked through my transition that I thought hey, why don’t I expand the list and make it into a book to help others in the same way that I helped myself.  So that it was I did!  And boy, am I glad that I did.  I learned a lot about myself in the process, I have met some amazing people at book signings and workshops, the book won a couple of awards (which I am still pinching myself) and most importantly I know that the book has helped others in the same way that I was able to help myself.  And for that I am very proud. And not only that, but as I learned how to find balance in my life I began to truly realize why It is so critical to have it in our lives for many different reasons, most importantly because it gives us a solid base from which to operate.  Without a solid base, it is very difficult to stay focused and move forward toward our goals and dreams. Without balance it can also be a struggle to listen to our intuition and guidance, which is crucial as we learn how to follow our hearts and move forward on our path.  Another reason it is important to have balance in our everyday life is because balance makes it possible to be fully alive and to live by making choices in the moment.  In balance we have the energy, attention and space in our lives to seize new opportunities. We can live proactively, not reactively.   

So I think you can see how the quote “We are here to teach what it is that we need to learn ourselves” played a part in the creation of Brian’s List.  As I worked on and learned how to stay in balance, my path has led me to help others do the same thing.   

Where is your growth taking you?  And how will you be able to help others from what you have learned about yourself? 

Finding Comfort During a Stressful Experience

Visualization can be such a valuable tool to help us move through and toward our goals and dreams.  I want to share a brief story with you on how visualization helped me move through a very stressful experience.  I was working as a counselor at a boy’s treatment ranch in Northern California during the mid-1990′s.  It happened to be kind of a rough place.  Most of the boys had been abused one way or another during their upbringing and didn’t have a good foundation of love, acceptance and boundaries set for them by their families.  Because of this, there was a lot of anger and other inappropriate behavior.  Sometimes we had to break up fights or were actually attacked ourselves physically as well as verbally.  It wasn’t an easy two years of employment there I can assure you, but I truly wanted to try and make a difference and help reach some of the kids so that they could have a better finish to their life.  

 

One day I remember having had to break up a fight between two boys with some of my co-workers.  As is usually the case after a fight we would take the offending parties to separate rooms where they could cool down and become “safe” again.  Due to California law, we weren’t able to lock these rooms, so one of the staff had to hold the door shut from the outside and watch through a window to make sure that the boy was being safe toward himself.  Many times while this procedure took place, the offending boy would still be “fired up” from his fight and would take it out on staff verbally.  It also wasn’t unusual for a troubled teen to spit on the window or try to urinate underneath the small crack at the base of the door to try and get some on us.  Well after this one particular fight between two teens, the one that I was watching was just letting me have it with all kinds of offensive swear words and threats.  Now I knew that what he was saying about me wasn’t true and that he was just basically mad at himself for getting into that situation, but when you are getting barraged with negativity, it’s hard to not let some of it slip into your consciousness.  After a while I was getting really worn out from listening to his angry rants and threats.  So to counter what was happening, I decided to come up with a mantra then and there that I continue to use to this day.  I began to say to myself, “I am love, I spread love and I am surrounded by love.”  I just kept repeating it over and over in my head.  It was amazing how it began to help me almost immediately. And after a few minutes you know what?  The young man began to relax as well.  Whether or not it was coincidence or he actually felt my energy change, it doesn’t matter.  What matters is that I was able to find comfort, love and relaxation during a very stressful experience.  

Copyright G. Brian Benson 2013

Come On Down

Come on down it’s time to shine

And leave your fears at bay

They aren’t real, illusions guise

It’s time you shared your say

 

Come on down it’s time to be

Present in life’s grand flow

Centered, balanced, trusting thought

Intuits guiding know

 

Come on down it’s time to share

Your gifts, your life, your core

Sublime march unique to you

Which opens faithful door

 

Come on down it’s time to trust

Spirits inspired plan

Gentle nudges of support

Firm foundation to stand

 

Come on down it’s time to feel

Free your heart, mind and soul

Release the pain, taste the joy

Of playing your true role

 

Come on down it’s time to love

Life, yourself, your story

You are truth, complete and whole

Birthing perfect glory

 

Come on down it’s time to live

It surges inside you

Your hopes and dreams need to breathe

And shine their colored hue

Copyright 2013 G. Brian Benson

Almost Me

Almost Me

I was almost me
Tried to be like all
Grass thought to be green
Set me up for fall

Chasing a result
Left me feeling bare
Worthiness questioned
Happiness was rare

Incomplete version
Unnatural lull
Focused surface view
My glass was half full

As I searched outside
I would squint to see
Always wanting more
I was almost me

Then I stopped the chase
Listened to my heart
Set aside my fears
Played my truest part

Using what I have
Trusting it’s enough
Letting my light shine
Clearing out old stuff

Being my true self
Weight began to shed
Forward move direct
No more have to tread

Purpose now in sync
Life clearly in flow
Always been complete
I just didn’t know

Sun shining brighter
Gratitude in tow
No more almost me
I was always whole

Copyright G. Brian Benson 2013

You Don’t Know Me, But We’ve Met…

 I want to share a very inspiring story about my brother in law John.  You see I had known John for about 15 years and thought I knew him pretty well. He was a friendly, hardworking, quiet kind of guy who I had always enjoyed a few laughs with and enjoyed being around, but never really had any deep conversations with.  Well recently my sister sent me a text and asked if I had seen the poem John wrote and posted on Facebook.  I had not I replied, but I told her I would take a look.  When I got around to reading his post, what I found left me very touched, inspired and blown away.  John’s authentic poem shared a lot about himself…his thoughts, his inner work and his own path of wanting to improve himself.  I suppose it touched me so much because I totally felt the raw authenticity behind it and felt a kindred spirit who also was dealing with a similar issue.  I myself have struggled with being totally open about and sharing my life for others to see and judge.  I am at times a bit introverted just like John.  I am also a pretty private person.  Yet I feel like it is my life purpose to open up and share my stories in hopes of inspiring and helping others to move forward in their lives.  There is nothing more inspiring than seeing another person step out boldly and sharing something they are going through.  It gives the rest of us permission to do the same. Thank you John for your honesty.

You Don’t Know Me, But We’ve Met

When you walk into the room you never look shy

A spring in your step a gleam in your eye
I just can’t be like that, I don’t even know why
It’s not because I’m unwilling, or that I don’t try

A inherited trait, perhaps that much is true
You didn’t know my father, but he may have known you
For he was quite shy, but not at all sad
His name was Tom, but I called him dad

I’m trying to change, come out of my shell
Expose more to the world, but it’s tough as hell
Next time we meet, I’ll work harder to smile
Perhaps lower my defenses, even chat for a while

As I crawl toward the light, searching for that new lease
In the puzzle that’s called life, this is but the first piece.

John Andrew 2012

Copyright 2012 G. Brian Benson

Participation = Growth

When we are younger, we have a tendency to disregard others who are just participating.  We sometimes think that glory should only be given to those who are the fastest or most accomplished.  That is the furthest thing from the truth.  We all are participants.  Everyone has a different story or situation that they are playing out; whether it is in a triathlon race, a job or the classroom of life.  I belonged in that triathlon not because I got out of the swim portion before some of the other participants or because I had a faster time on the bike than four other guys in my age group.  I belonged because I was trying to learn about myself.

Life is all about trying to learn about oneself.  I just chose the sport of triathlon and a race held in Cottage Grove, Oregon in 1987 to do my exploring.  It took me awhile to learn this, but when I did, it opened my world up to wanting to help others learn about themselves and be the best that they can be as well.  There is something very special about breaking personal barriers.  If we hold it in gratitude and with the right attitude, others bear witness that they too can grow and live out their dreams.  When we hold it to ourselves and don’t understand that we are all part of the greater good, then it feels very shallow and empty.

There will always be someone who does something better than you.  Don’t run yourself into the ground trying to be better than that person.  Set your goals and dreams for yourself and the growth that will come with your journey.  All we can do is be better than we used to be.  That is where true happiness comes from.

Copyright G. Brian Benson 2012

How Will I Make It Happen?

You know what?  It’s alright that you aren’t sure how you will make your dream happen.  All that matters initially is that you have a dream and are committed to making it happen.  Once that is established, start moving forward!  What does moving forward mean?  Anything and everything!  It just depends on what you need to manifest your dream.  Do you need some money to finance it?  Go figure out how to raise the money, whether it’s from a part-time job or convincing others to back you.  Do you need to educate yourself about a certain topic?  Go take a class or talk with an expert on the subject.  It’s alright to ask questions and learn from those who do know!  Do you need to get hands-on to begin to start writing or creating?  What are you waiting for?  Make it happen!

Let me give you a personal example.  After having made it through my first 2 years of racing in triathlons (1987-88), I knew that I enjoyed it immensely and that it gave me a lot of confidence and pride.  I still wanted to improve.  I have always wanted to do the best that I can in pretty much anything that I have attempted.

I got this notion that my swimming needed to improve.  I was a better than average swimmer but wanted to work on it nonetheless.  I was working as a lifeguard at Oregon State University during some of their swim classes and noticed the women’s swim team come in one time following a class I watched over.  That got me thinking.  I knew that the women’s team was a funded university sport and I had heard that they had a men’s swim club that wasn’t.  It was participant funded.  I then began to wonder who was on the men’s team and could anyone join?  After some inquiries, I realized that anyone could join.  I knew right then and there that was my answer to become a better swimmer; I joined.  I didn’t really know at the time what I was getting myself into.  My triathlon swim training basically consisted of me jumping in the pool and swimming lap after lap.  Maybe I would throw in some kickboard work.  That was about it.

Well that was all about to change very quickly at swim practice.  Everybody who was on the team had been a very proficient swimmer in high school and was quite fast and talented.  Here was I… someone whose swim career consisted of a handful of triathlons and some summer swim lessons as a youth.  I was terrified!  Luckily for me the coach of the team was a supportive and wise man who had been coaching for a very long time.  He understood where I was coming from and welcomed me.

No more jumping in the pool and swimming lap after lap for me.  It was time for lung burning intervals and utilizing swim strokes that I had never attempted before!  That first day while huffing and puffing my way through practice, I really began to wonder what I got myself into.  Although quitting was an option that I honestly did think about, I decided to go again the next day.  The routine was the same…lung busting interval after lung busting interval, but I began to realize that I could handle it.  Sure I was the slowest swimmer there, but I knew that I could handle it!  I also began to realize that there was no way I couldn’t get faster if I stuck with this.  So that is what I did.  Although practices were always tough, I began to get faster and more confident day after day.  It was a wonderful feeling indeed.  I even went on road trips with them to swim meets and competed in the freestyle events (that is the stroke that is used for triathlon).  Although I got my butt kicked in the meets by all the experienced and accomplished swimmers, it was exhilarating.

The key is to just start the process.  And you know what?  It’s alright if you aren’t quite sure what step #2 is.  Just get started on step #1.  The Universe has a wonderful way of providing us with what we need at the exact moment that we need it.  Help is always on the way!  Just know that it will come, and be open to it.  You don’t want to make the mistake of not being open to outside help or thinking that you can do it all by yourself.  Anyone who has ever been successful in any field has had help from others along the way.  Always remember that.  Please don’t let the fact that you aren’t sure how you are going to make your dream happen hold you back.  STAY FOCUSED, BELIEVE AND KEEP MOVING FORWARD!

Copyright 2012 G. Brian Benson